The Post I Didn't Want to Write

About a month and a half ago, I nervously pressed "Publish" on a blog post that I would have preferred, at the time, to hit "Delete."  I half-assumed no one would ever say anything about it, after all, my intention wasn't to attract attention from the ends of the earth.  I half-assumed that a couple people might comment, given that I knew my struggle wasn't mine alone.  What I never assumed as the comments and page views and shares and messages and conversations to follow rapidly began to roll in five minutes after posting was the overwhelming response I received from people near and far.

Here is what the past five weeks have taught me: People deeply appreciate and esteem transparency, sincerity, and authenticity.  I always knew this, but as family, friends, acquaintances, even near-strangers, flooded me with encouragement and candid openness about their own struggles I began to realize this on a completely new level than ever before.

There's a face that we wear in the cold light of day

It's society's mask; it's society's way

And the truth is that it's all a façade.

There's a face that we hide till the nighttime appears

And what's hiding inside behind all of our fears 

Is our true self locked inside the façade...

The remainder of "Façade" from Jekyll and Hyde is not only a lyrical masterpiece, in my opinion, but also quite an accurate picture of the inward, humanly fight against living with transparency.  The line and I'm certain- life is terribly hard when you're life's a façade contains so much truth not only because keeping up a perception is life-draining, but because transparent living also allows for greater community.  Is it challenging?  Undoubtedly.  But rewarding?  Absolutely.  

Transparency, alone, I'm convinced, isn't the key though.  Simply sharing one's deepest secrets or sins or fears may attract attention as a sideshow, but doesn't necessarily build community or provide encouragement to others.  Without living in sincerity, that life will not incur respect.  Building a life around claims that lack follow-through exhibits shallowness.

What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue when the walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

(I can't help the musical references.  The music teacher in my blood will never run dry).  Staying true to convictions isn't going to happen every minute of every day, but accompanied with transparency, as conveyed in these words that filled every Christian radio station in existence 18 years ago (wow) matters.

Transparency, sincerity, and authenticity together is what, I've discovered, has drawn so many to lay their hearts out for me to see in the past five weeks.  They have allowed me to see the shadowy, hidden corners of their lives and the yet-raw wounds that battered their hearts.  I feel completely unworthy but entirely honored that so many of you have opened up your world to me in such an intimate way.  You have been such an encouragement to me; you have helped heal me and "let go" in ways I never thought possible by simply publishing the post I didn't want to write.  Thank you.