The Old and the New

Monday marked the closing of our first home.  The theme of the "old" versus the "new" has been coming to mind a lot with the start of changes.  As transitions to our new space commence, it is apparent that the closing of one chapter begins a new one.  It is truly exciting, but I don't want to be so hurried to start the next one that I forget to acknowledge the beauty of the current.

Yesterday, as soon as I walked out of the door of our apartment, it became apparent that the two large trees next to the building suddenly realized that it was fall and they had some catching up to do:

The blanketed foliage was a reminder of the end of one season of our lives in this place.  As I think back over our two years here, this apartment represents so much of God's kindness to us.  Most of our married life so far has been here.  We've been so blessed with excellent landlords.  Despite the enormous crickets (one of my two least favorite products of nature, next to centipedes) and mosquitoes that come with it, it has been wonderful to have woods and a little creek to look at right outside of our apartment... a scene fairly uncommon so close to Baltimore.  We've been right down the road from a Wegmans in one direction and one of my best friends in the other. (Don't judge.  Wegmans is a big deal). 

Reflecting on God's kindness over the past two and a half years makes me excited to see what He has in store for us in our next location.  There will be new people to interact with and new lessons to learn.  When I started hauling things over to the house earlier this week, I brought these back from the garden:

Despite the autumn season, the yard was teeming with life... so much so that I couldn't help bringing some back with me.  As my present surrounding is cluttered with evidences of transition this reminder has been a breath of fresh air every time I walk in to the kitchen.  

This Just In...

A news broadcast "special report" was on our local station today that talked about a study concerning increasing numbers of accidents and injuries to people texting... And falling off a sidewalk.  Really.  This is news-worthy.  Had I been in charge of that story, I think I would have just said, "This just in: People are stupid."

Perhaps this is showing my age, but I'm fairly old-fashioned when it comes to phone usage.  I don't answer my phone when I am with others and rarely text.  I want to be in the present- to make the most of the time I have with my friends and family.  Those moments are times that God has provided for a purpose, and those people are important to me so I want them to know that they are.  Also, voicemail is there for a reason.

We as a culture are so engrossed in multi-tasking that the quality of what we are trying to do all at once drops drastically.  We have nature and beauty all around us, so look up when you are walking.  Enjoy the variety of colors on the leaves and the way they fall from the trees.  Take in the freshness in the air.  Appreciate the variety of face shapes and gloriousness of differently colored skin.  Listen to the wide array of timbres and pitches of sounds.  Don't miss what is around you-- it is so much more than a tiny screen of words and manufactured pictures.  Put the phone away, get your mind off of yourself, and learn to love the world around you.  That world shouts volumes of the One who created it.

Respected at the City Gate

My husband and I were both fortunate enough to be raised in households filled with love and strong marriages.  I am so grateful that I have a mother who is a wonderful example of an excellent wife whom I was able to watch, up close, for eighteen years. 

Now, I am far from excellent or wonderful, but I have made it a priority to try to glorify God in how I display love and respect for my husband even when I am not around.  One way I have found to be a blessing to him in this way is by making his lunches in the morning each day, including a note with something I appreciate about him, am praying for him about, or just simply reminding him that I think he is pretty darn swell.

This simple act of sending a lunch with him each day has caught notice of several teachers he works with in ways I could never have expected.  On a number of occasions, they have taken notice of something he has brought in for lunch and have been really surprised to find that his wife makes it for him each day.  Last week, one of them exclaimed, "Your wife still makes lunches for you?  How long have you been married? ... More than two years?  Oh."  The fact that I can show his co-workers that he has a wife who loves and supports him, in even menial ways, is such an encouragement to me that God can do so much with so little.

Proverbs 31:23 says, "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land."  Until recently, I never understood this verse's place in the the Proverbs 31 poem. Verse after verse touts "she is... she is... she is..." and then all of a sudden there's this shout-out to her husband's reputation.  My response was always to gloss over that because, frankly, I didn't get it.  It hit me this morning though that it makes sense to read this as "she is a reason her husband is respected at the city gate..."  He is respected by others because they see that he is respected by his wife.  That is what I aspire to give my husband-- respect of others by how I display respect for him, even in the simple act of tossing some food and an ice pack in a bag each morning.

When I'm Not Amazed

I'm alive.  Really.  August and September and October have been very busy, but that's not the primary reason for the lack of updates.  Mostly it has come from not having anything to say that might be worth reading.  This morning though, a song on Pandora came up that brought me back to something I've been thinking about a great deal lately.  "Your Grace Still Amazes Me" has the following lyrics:

My faithful Father, enduring Friend

Your tender mercy's like a river with no end

It overwhelms me, covers my sin

Each time I come into Your presence

I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me

Your love is still a mystery

Each day I fall on my knees

Your grace still amazes me

As I was listening, I found myself mentally responding, "I do not feel amazed.  Nor do I feel overwhelmed by mercy.  Nor do I stand in wonder.  At anything."  So many song lyrics focus on ME and I and what I WANT to do for God.  This has been increasingly frustrating to me lately because you know what?  There are many days when I do NOT desire, I am NOT amazed, I am NOT overwhelmed, I am NOT brought to my feet or knees in wonder.  These songs are not uplifting-- quite the opposite.  They just serve to remind me what a sinful failure I am.  In those moments, the words seem to turn up their noses and scoff at me. 

The fact is that those things worthy of amazement, of overwhelming awe, and wide-eyed wonder ARE worthy... My feelings do not diminish their glorious nature.  In those moments, what I do NOT need to do is just try harder to feel those things.  What I NEED is to remember that Truth.  Cling to that Truth.  Allow that Truth to speak to my heart and mind and soul.  What I NEED to remember is that the Truths are no less wonderful... It is just that I don't understand them or care enough to see them as they are.  

If you are feeling as I am today- downtrodden, sullen, underwhelmed- join with me in returning to the wonderful fact that God's faithfulness, His mercy, His presence, His grace, are not diminished by how I feel about them.