But Why?

"Well, I liked the huge master bedroom, the short ride to work, and the enormous kitchen, but I would rather have two sinks in the bathroom, darker kitchen cabinets, and granite countertops," summarized the House Hunter from the television screen. A now-familiar thought ran through my mind while watching the show as I drifted off to sleep last night. The thought that has been increasingly on my mind as WE ourselves have been in the middle of house hunting: "But why?"

 Sure, okay, you want a master bedroom the size of a small cruise ship, but why? You want to be able to have a two-minute crawl to work in the morning, but why? You discount homes without granite countertops, but why? The bullet points go on and on, but the question remains the same-- why? What is your motive? Why is this important to you?

I have been lately considering my own motives for not just WHY I look forward to owning a home, but also WHY I desire certain qualities. Often the answer is along the lines of "I like this... It will make me most comfortable... This is most convenient... I would be a stones throw away from Wegmans..." In the end it boils down to MY preferences, MY comfort, MY hopes and wants. Is that really how I am commanded from scripture to live my life? In light of my own superficial desires and convenience? Did Jesus live in a matter that idolized comfort, convenience, or personal preferences for hardwood floors? Rather, my motive ALL the time ought be to glorify God and love others in what I do, and that includes how I hope and dream. How would our house search change if we were searching for a home that would be most effective in serving others and not just ourselves? Where would our home be situated and what would it look like if we had OTHERS' needs in mind, rather than simply our own?

 In this narcissistic age of the "you can be (or HAVE) anything you want" mantra, the things we make priorities are really completely superficial. Worshipping Jesus means you set aside yourself for something so much greater. Worshipping Jesus, for me and in this case, may mean setting aside my desires of IKEA slam-proof drawers in favor of a location that will better foster hospitality for people from church. Worshipping Jesus may come down to getting a home with (groan...) wood panelling simply because it will open up our budget to allow for more room to give monetarily. Worshipping Jesus is not a pithy bumper sticker saying. It is really a life-makeover.

It's All Over (clap clap, clap clap clap)

I slept in until 7:44am this morning, and it was a truly glorious thing.

F.B.I. Camp concluded yesterday afternoon with a fun and very successful closing program.  During the run-through a few hours earlier, I showed the kids and staff the slideshow. and several kids were teary-eyed from remembering all that has happened.  One precious child was sobbing by the end and said, "I don't want camp to be over and have to go back to school.  I don't have any friends at school, and no one plays with me."  Another child told me after the program had concluded that she wanted to come back every day.  I am so incredibly thankful that God has used this camp to be a place of safety and warmth for each child, and especially the ones to whom that is a foreign feeling.

As I look back over the past four weeks, here are a few of the favorite memories that jump out at me:

• Week 1, Thursday: On my way to church, God placed the theme of "weakness" on my mind.  When the staff arrived and we met to pray for the day, I asked them how they were feeling and how we could pray for them.  All but one person expressed significant weariness, physically-disheartening exhaustion, or emotional weakness.  After praying for each other, we dispersed as the kids arrived.  At 3:30, once all the children were gone, I followed up with what each of the staff's requests that morning.  Without fail, God had removed what was discouraging each person that morning and it had been a truly joy-filled day.
• Week 1, Monday/Friday: Children arriving on Monday, as shy as could be.  Children leaving Friday, excitedly chattering away, laughing and joking with us.
• Week 2, Tuesday: Gaining five new faces during camp and getting to know them.  When teaching the kids part of the rap song in the morning, in response to the line, "We're filled with thankfulness 'cause of your faithfulness," I asked how God had been faithful to them.  One of the girls who does not attend church shot her hand up and then shared, "When we moved to our house, we didn't have any furniture or food or clothes.  God gave us clothes and food and stuff so that we could have them."  It blew me away that this 8-year old already understood that it had been GOD to provide for her family when they had absolutely nothing.
• Week 3, Wednesday: During the field trip to the International Spy Museum, hearing one child enter the museum exclaiming, "I would LOVE to be a spy. They have the coolest job of dress up ever!" and leaving in the afternoon, exclaiming, "I would HATE to be a spy.  They have to eat poison and I don't want to eat poison!"  
• Week 3, Friday: Hearing that one child, during the Bible lesson literally plugged her ears and refused to listen whenever they talked about Jesus' death on the cross... or anything to do with death, for the matter.  
• Week 4, Monday: Walking past the front door and noticing a school bus out front.  I found out that the company sent the bus on the wrong day and had to  run around like a mad woman trying to make sure we would have transportation on Wednesday, when we actually needed it.
• Week 4, Monday: Learning that the child (from Friday) who persistently plugged her ears while hearing about Jesus was so scarred by her grandmother's death that anything dealing with the subject (even if it had a "happy ending to the story") completely made her tune out.
• Week 4, Tuesday: When I met with the staff that morning, we prayed specifically for the girl and that she would be hearing what was said, even if her ears were plugged.  I encouraged the staff to consider the same picture-- that we often, as adults, "plug our ears" and shout, "La la la la" to God-- but that we do it in a more... refined way.  Later that morning, I sat in their class and watched as she slowly started putting her hands to her ears when the teacher mentioned the name "Jesus."  Every few minutes, her hands would slowly creep away from her ears, only to resume their position shortly after. Several times, she said, "I'm scared" or "This is scary," but she intently watched the teachers present the gospel message even if her ears were closed.
• Week 4, Tuesday, 15 minutes later: During the kids' quiet time with God, one of the teachers related to me that she had put the words, "God is ______" on the whiteboard and had the child fill it in with whatever came to her mind.  She wrote, "God is in Mr Jon... God is in Miss Nikki... God is in Diana." (name changed)  God had answered our prayers to captivate her heart.  
• Week 4, Wednesday: Listening to one 6-year old (during our trip to the zoo) tell another child (not from our camp) who was scared of a snake in one of the cages, "Well, you don't have to be scared because that's how God made it!"
• Week 4, Thursday: Each day, I dropped one of the children off at home since her family didn't have transportation to pick her up in the evenings.  This child was particularly immature for her age (6) and doesn't attend church regularly, and we weren't ever quite sure if she was picking up the things we tried to teach.  When I dropped her off her mother said, "She just loves camp so much.  Yesterday, I overheard her in her room by herself talking to God."  What a precious thing it must be for God to hear these kids' tiny voices talking to him, unprompted.  

I could go on, but these were a few of the things that I wanted to share.  God has been so faithful to use each experience and conversation to His glory.  I am still in awe of how He answered prayer and moved in the kids' hearts beyond what we could every see.

What They Don't Teach You in Camp-Directing School

Okay, so let's be real. I didn't go to Camp Directing school. I am fairly positive that I made its existence up entirely. BUT, if I had, here are a few things that I am pretty darn certain they wouldn't teach you:

1. How to react when you first see two five-year olds kissing. Repeatedly. On the neck and mouth.
2. How to keep your cool when an adult loses track of a child during a field trip. You know... Hypothetically.
3. How to logically explain to a six-year old that it isn't a great idea to keep his balloon animal that he has become incredibly attached to in his prior three minutes of possession because another child wiped his blood on it after getting a minor cut on playground equipment.
4. That a game involving hitting a balloon back and forth may result in injury, and while attending to aforementioned child's injury, trash-talking would take place and result in four children crying.
5. That following said game with balloon stomping game solves everyone's woes and ailments. Apparently, when it comes to balloon games, violence is preferable.
6. That Elmer's Glue-All does not work on styrofoam.
7. Root beer floats and "punch bugs" are foreign concepts to persons under the age of ten. I think I died a little.
8. Angry Birds can actually be turned into a real-person game. It is apparently a great after-lunch pastime.
9. No child willingly eats mustard.
10. Kids understand and absorb than you think and are totally capable of way more than most adults give them credit for.

Three weeks down, one week to go...

And then, it was July.

One week of camp down, three to go! Here's a quick (stifles laughter) recap of last week:

Monday- The morning starts off excellently. Kids and staff are excited. 11:30 rolls around and lunch has yet to arrive. We rearrange the schedule to keep the kids busy while we wait for the city lunch to be dropped off. 1:00 rolls around and we have already moved the afternoon snack to give the kids whose, I have been informed by one six-year old, "stomachs are going to explode!" 1:30 comes... Still no lunch. 1:35, I find out that it isn't coming because they had the wrong address in the system. We invade McDonalds and get the kids Happy Meals. All is right with the world.

Tuesday- Starts off with an emergency meeting of the minds. I will spare you the details. Continues with a trip to Little Caesar's to get pizza for everyone since the city lunch program requires two days to fix the address problem. I call the bus company to ensure that all details are set for bus rental for field trip the following day and get a confirmation that all is right with the world.

Wednesday- Field trip day! The kids are in their classes and it's 10:05. We were scheduled to leave at 10:15. I get a call saying that, apparently, all is NOT right with the world and the bus is not, in fact, coming until we send a different type of payment form. Fast forward to 10:30 when, thankfully, all is once again right with the world and we are on our way to the park for a hike/scavenger hunt and swimming. No children drown or get left behind, but one child puts bathing suit on overtop of underwear and life nearly ceases as we know it when realizing it AFTER swimming.

Thursday- 5:30 PM I walk through the apartment door and announce, "Nothing went wrong today!"

Friday- Four new children from the community join in and it becomes apparent that the tone of camp is definitely going to shift a bit. But they are precious and we look forward to getting to know them.

Friday night- Storm.

Saturday- I get a call around 4:00 saying that power is out in the building and offices.

Sunday morning- Power is still out and we make the call that camp will be cancelled on Monday. Also, hello July. Where'd you come from??

Monday- No camp means I can finally go check out the final field trip destination (International Spy Museum in DC)! Deeeeefinitely a good thing that I did. During dinner, I find out the the power is STILL out at the building, and we make the call to do a half-day for tomorrow before it gets too hot. We call all of the parents and staff to inform them.

15 minutes later, our Director of Operations calls to tell me that the power is back on. Really. Really?

But overall, all is going well. The kids are a joy to be around and the staff is a ton of fun. I wonder what tomorrow will have in store...