What They Don't Teach You in Camp-Directing School

Okay, so let's be real. I didn't go to Camp Directing school. I am fairly positive that I made its existence up entirely. BUT, if I had, here are a few things that I am pretty darn certain they wouldn't teach you:

1. How to react when you first see two five-year olds kissing. Repeatedly. On the neck and mouth.
2. How to keep your cool when an adult loses track of a child during a field trip. You know... Hypothetically.
3. How to logically explain to a six-year old that it isn't a great idea to keep his balloon animal that he has become incredibly attached to in his prior three minutes of possession because another child wiped his blood on it after getting a minor cut on playground equipment.
4. That a game involving hitting a balloon back and forth may result in injury, and while attending to aforementioned child's injury, trash-talking would take place and result in four children crying.
5. That following said game with balloon stomping game solves everyone's woes and ailments. Apparently, when it comes to balloon games, violence is preferable.
6. That Elmer's Glue-All does not work on styrofoam.
7. Root beer floats and "punch bugs" are foreign concepts to persons under the age of ten. I think I died a little.
8. Angry Birds can actually be turned into a real-person game. It is apparently a great after-lunch pastime.
9. No child willingly eats mustard.
10. Kids understand and absorb than you think and are totally capable of way more than most adults give them credit for.

Three weeks down, one week to go...