11.19.2018

You Don't Need a Party Hat to Eat Cheesecake (Recipe Included)

It annoys me to no end when it takes me 10 minutes to scrolls past a food blogger's life story to get to the stupid recipe, so I'm not going to do that to you.  If you care to hear me carry on about the silly thing, I shall do so after the recipe. 

For the rest of you who have better things to do with your day... you're welcome.

Caramel Apple Cheesecake

Behold.  The No-Special-Occasion Caramel Apple Cheesecake.

Crust:

2 C fine crumbs Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes (roughly 5 C whole), or regular plus and a bit of Pumpkin Pie Spice
1 C fine crumbs Crispix
3+ T unsalted butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350.  Pulverize the cereal in a food processor until very fine.  Mix in the butter (If the mixture doesn't stick together when you pinch it, add a T more of melted butter).  Press into bottom 8x8 square pan and slightly up the sides.  Pop that baby in the oven for 5 minutes.  Cool.

Caramel:

1 C sugar
5 T unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 C sour cream, room temperature

In saucepan, melt the sugar over lowish heat.  Stir frequently.  After a while, it will start to melt.  Keep stirring until all of the sugar clumps are liquidy and it's a gorgeous amber color.  Cut the butter into about 8 small clumps and gradually add them in.  Keep stirring and adding until all the butter has been incorporated.  Remove the pan from the heat and gradually add the sour cream. Voila!  Caramel sauce!  Let it cool for a few minutes in a glass bowl.

Apples:

2 large apples (I used gala because that's basically all I buy), or 3 medium/smallish apples
1 1/2 T brown sugar
1 T unsalted butter

Heat cast iron skillet on low heat.  While it's warming, peel your apples and cut into small chunks (bigger than a dice).  Toss the apples, sugar, and butter into the skillet and stir.  Stir occasionally and cook until apples are slightly darker, soft, and smell radiant. 

Walnuts:

1/3 C walnut pieces
1 T sugar
2 t unsalted butter

In skillet, heat ingredients together, stirring constantly, until sugar has melted and coated the walnuts.  Spread out on sheet of wax paper and let cool.  Resist urge to just eat them all.

Filling:

18 oz cream cheese, room temperature
1 T sour cream
2 large eggs (or 3 egg yolks if you've got 'em lying around)
2ish T brown sugar
1 t vanilla
1/4 t cinnamon

Beat cream cheese and sour cream in mixer until smooth and creamy.  Add eggs and beat until incorporated.  Add brown sugar (more to taste if you like it sweeter), vanilla, and cinnamon. 

Cheesecake, assemble!!  On top of cooled crust, pour thin layer of caramel and spread with the back of a spoon-- just enough to cover all of the crust.  Tilt and turn to make sure it gets to all edges and corner.  Sprinkle some of apple chunks over the caramel.  Add about 1 T of caramel into the cream cheese and pour 2/3 filling evenly over top (you may need to spread around into pan with spatula.  Reserve 1 T of caramel, but pour the rest into the remaining 1/3 filling and mix (do not scrape out caramel container yet).  Add remaining apples to mixture and spread onto pan. 

Take reserved T of caramel and drizzle over filling.  In the bowl that held the caramel, toss the walnuts in and stir to coat in what's left of the caramel.  Sprinkle around pan.  Put cheesecake in the over until set, about 45-50 minutes.  Cool completely and refrigerate for several hours until chilled.

*      *      *

You made it!  Hopefully, by now you're enjoying the fruits of your labor and the kitchen fairy has taken care of the mountain of dirty dishes that this recipe amassed.  (Sorry about that).  Cheesecake is a funny thing.  It's one of those desserts that seems to carry with it this ridiculous notion that you need a special occasion to partake in one.  That's nonsense.  Side note: It's also one of those things that some dessert snobs tend to think a plain New York Style Cheesecake is the best there is.  Those people are wrong.  I'd take one banging Pumpkin Cheesecake with a Paula Dean-amount of butter in the crust any day.  Key Lime Cheesecake?  Praise Jesus.  And I'd give my fourth toe for Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cheesecake.

Anyway, this recipe came about because I happened to find a box of Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes on clearance for $1.25, heard my weight's worth in apples calling to me from the crisper drawer, had leftover spiced walnuts from the week's salad lunches (if you're going to eat salad for lunch, why not throw on nuts cooked in sugar and butter, amiright?), was pondering how to use those three lonely yolks left over from an egg-whites only recipe, and had exactly 1/2 C + 1 T of sour cream (and no cream, which is usually what is used in making caramel) left that was about to go bad. 

And I needed something to bake something that was gluten free.  

And for the love of all that is Fall, apples and caramel and walnuts are a fantastic combination.

And cheesecake is amazing and life is too short to wait until you're dressed all fancy or wearing a party hat to eat cheesecake.  

So if you have looked at this recipe and said to yourself, "I love a good cheesecake, but this recipe is about 12 miles long," fear not.  Change the silly thing.  By all means, alter it to your heart's delight!  Don't layer it if you prefer not to!  Use graham crackers instead of cereal!  Go crazy and add more cinnamon!  Use more apples!  Use store-bought caramel!  

(Actually, no, don't do that.  Homemade caramel is easy, cheap, and SO MUCH MORE FREAKING DELICIOUS). 

Ultimately, I jotted this down so I can remember what I created and do it again in the future.  But hopefully you're able to make some ordinary day more extraordinary.

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